No. 16 | Hello Again

Hello, it’s me again, the closeted gay guy from the Philippines who tries to live a gay life from the closet. I’ve been gone for a while because things didn’t turn out so well with me and Walt, and I’m sorry that I couldn’t come up with a better explanation for it. Truthfully, I can’t find the right words to correctly explain how hurt I am, especially since finding out three months after our breakup that he was cheating on me the whole time we were together. Silly rabbit, now I’ve said too much.

Khloé Kardashian, arguably the best among TV’s most famous sisters, mantras out(1) that looking good is the best revenge. That’s the premise of her one millionth TV show Revenge Body, right? So, while still waiting for a career expansion, I decided to have a significant lifestyle change in the last three months—to be healthier and to get my revenge body. But no, it wouldn’t be for revenge on Walt. I’m done doing anything for that boy. I want to get revenge on my old self, who let his priorities be overshadowed by fake love and lust. I’ve been eating better; I’ve been dressing better; I’ve been feeling better, and no boy who broke my heart could ever take that away from me. Because if I have learned anything from the first two years of gay dating, it’s to choose myself first. I don’t mean to be blatantly selfish, but rather, to remind myself that it takes two to tango, and one of those dancers is myself.(2)

It’s time to get serious on working on my revenge body this year, and not just physically, but emotionally and mentally, as well. Now that I’ve had a taste of everything, I know what I want—I want love from a man who treats me like one, someone who doesn’t shun me from wanting to support him, and one who would be proud to call me his boyfriend.(3) It wouldn’t hurt if he was on the same level of good-looking as Diego is, but that’s secondary (we all know I’m lying). However, knowing what I want doesn’t mean that I haven’t already made some mistakes. A lot can happen in a three-month-long absence, and I have so much more to tell you.

  1. Is this even a phrase?
  2. I was really high when I wrote this.
  3. Just to be clear, these three qualities, I’m looking for in one person.
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